31 Ghosts – Ghost Ennui

The transparent figure floated through the basement and stopped when it saw someone on the couch. It moved closer slowly, menacingly… “Alan?”

The similarly transparent figure on the couch looked over his shoulder. “Oh, hey Tony.”

“What are you still doing here? There’s haunting to be done! It’s October, you know? Veil between our world and theirs is thinnest? Maybe you’ve heard of it? Got to get haunting while the haunting’s good,” Tony made ghost jazz hands.

“Wow. That’s a lot, Tony.”

“Come on, man, it’s October. Let’s get out there!”

“I know, I know… I’m just, I don’t know, not feeling it tonight. Wait, what are you still doing down here?”

“Me? Oh, forgot my ghost boots.” While he had initially come through the room completely silently, now Tony started walking very deliberately and the distinctive sound of booted footsteps echoed loudly with each step. “Do you love them? Listen—” he held still. “They totally heard it upstairs!” He bounced up and down and clapped his hands. “They’re going to come down here and investigate and…” he noticed Alan had gone back to zoning out. “Whoa, Alan! Snap out of it!”

“I’m sorry, Tony. I don’t know what’s gotten in to me. I really love October. It’s just… I don’t know, I’ve been going through a lot lately. There was that whole thing at the cemetery…”

“Oh, that’s right, they moved your grave… That’s tough.”

“Right? What’s a dead guy supposed to do when that happens?!”

“Haunt them!” Tony’s eyes lit up.

“Tony,” Alan sighed exasperated, “Everything isn’t solved by haunting.”

“No, but you feel better afterwards! Do you want to haunt the guy who re-sold your plot or the gravediggers?”

“Tony, come on, you’re not listening… I mean, what’s the point?”

“The point? The point is to make that pencil pusher in a black suit pee himself. That’s the point!”

Alan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just feel, I don’t know… like I’m a ghost of myself…”

“Alan,” Tony said seriously, “You literally are a ghost of yourself.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Alan said. “It’s been a while since I died… I’m just having issues accepting it.”

“It’s been five years, man,” Tony said. “That’s like a significant anniversary. An excuse to haunt the crap out of the living!” Tony stared off in the middle distance, “I remember when I was five… I mean, that was a long time ago…”

“Last year, Tony. That was last year. You’ve been dead six years this year.”

“Oh… yeah. Well, that was 2020 and that really counts for, like, ten years.”

“Look, go out without me tonight, Tony. Raise some literal hell. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“Come on, man,” Tony wouldn’t give up. “I’m worried about you! Come on, let’s go do something you like… hiking, right? Let’s go scare the shit out of the deer again! That was fun! They all scattered and then we appeared in front of them again and they took off in the opposite direction. That was so cool!”

“Until that one darted out into traffic and that kid hit him…”

“Oh… yeah… forgot about that,” Tony said quietly to himself. “But then we partied with that ghost deer for the next week!”

“Tony,” Alan said firmly, “Go. Just go.” I’ll go out tomorrow.

“Fine,” Tony said defeated. “I’ll go. But I’m going to hold you to that going out tomorrow bit!”

“That’s fine,” Alan said.

“Oh, and I’m going to stomp up the stairs with my ghost boots because who doesn’t love a dramatic exit?!” The stairs creaked as he slowly stepped up each step, his footfalls echoing loudly in the dark basement.

Alan was alone. And not really enjoying it. He sighed and decided to go upstairs – not to haunt, just to see what the guy living up there was up to. He found him sitting in front of his computer, screen showing a Microsoft Word document. The page on the screen was empty except for the title which read, simply “Ghost Story.” The man in front of the computer let out a sigh of frustration that Alan could totally relate to. The man checked his watch, stared blankly at the screen again, then sighed again…

“Ghost story?” Alan said to himself. “I’m suddenly interested,” he said moving to the bookshelf and forced his will into pushing a hardback book off a shelf and landed with an enormous clap in the silent room. The man in front of the computer jumped and stared at the book on the floor, his breathing rapid, his face a mask of terror.

“My muse…” Alan said and blew cold air on the terrified man’s neck.

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