“Let’s see… what am I forgetting?” Sam tapped his finger to his chin thoughtfully. “I showed you the plants… You met Toby… I showed you where his food is. Oh, don’t…”

“…Feel bad if Toby doesn’t come out — he’s shy around strangers,” Derek smiled.

“I… already covered that, didn’t I?”

Derek nodded. “It’s cool, man. You’ve got a lot on your mind with this trip. It’s all good. I know which plants to water when, I know Toby’s food schedule. I’ll camp in your guest room tomorrow night, and you’re back next Saturday. That about it?”

Sam visibly relaxed. “Thanks, man. This is all written down and I sent it to your email.”

“Tell me it’s not a PowerPoint.”

Sam reddened.

“Bro, you need this vacation so bad! Maui is waiting!”

“Thanks man.”

“Let’s see… what am I forgetting,” Marlene tapped her finger to her chin thoughtfully. “I showed you the best places to manifest cold spots… Oh, about the stairs, don’t…”

“…Sound footsteps until at least 3am because that’s the accepted ‘witching hour’?”

“I… already covered that, didn’t I?”

Elaine nodded. “It’s fine, Marlene. I understand, this is the first time you haven’t had Amelia to ghost sit for you. But she’s gone into the light, and I’m here to cover for you! You’re good.”

“Thank you, Elaine. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, it’s not everyday you get to meet up with the ghost of your great, great, great…”

Marlene laughed, “It’s just great-great. And it’s my great, great granddaughter – heart attack, I heard. Died in her sleep.”

“Oh, give her my congratulations!” Elaine smiled.

“Will do. And you think you’ll be back next Saturday?”

“Oh, dear yes. Nothing worse than a visiting ghost overstaying her welcome.”

“Talk about things that go bump in the night!”

They both laughed.

“Hey Toby,” Elaine said gently to the cat sitting on the throw rug in front of the bed as she crouched in the doorway to the guest room. The cat regarded her warily. “We met the other night? Marlene introduced us? She’s out, but she told me to make sure you were okay.”

Derek noticed the cold spot at the top of the hallway as he brought his duffel to the guest room. “That’s weird,” he said shivering and crossing to the thermostat. Seventy degrees. He shrugged and saw Toby sprint under the guest bed as he dropped his duffel. “Hey buddy,” he said, kneeling to look at the two eyes in the darkness. “Pspspspsps…” he said, smiling. Toby stared back at him, then looked over his shoulder. His eyes grew wide and he receded farther under the bed.

“Who is this guy?” Elaine stood behind the man now kneeling in front of the bed. “He’s not coming out for you, buddy. Where’s Sam? I was told Sam was the only living person here?”

Derek tilted his head at the cat looking over his shoulder. He turned and looked straight through Elaine. “Nothing there, buddy.” Derek stood up and turned to face the door and pulled out his iPhone.

Elaine stood directly in front of him as he scrolled through his phone. “Who. Are. You?!” she yelled at him.

“Okay, the Boston fern gets watered today…” he read. He lowered his phone, stared right through Elaine and stepped through her, shivering as he did. “Seriously, why is it so cold up here?” he said to himself as he headed downstairs.

Elaine stared after him as he left the room. “Marlene said Sam was the only living person here. This guy must be… a squatter! He’s probably going to… I don’t know… strip out the copper wires! Like what happened to that foreclosed place I was at. Not today! Not on my watch!” She stalked out of the room after Derek.

Derek had set the small watering can on the counter beside the sink when a cabinet door opened on its own. He stared at it… and then closed it.

It opened again.

He closed it again.

It opened again.

He moved to close it again, but it slammed shut before he could touch it.

“What the hell?” he said.

“Ah, scared you, didn’t I, squatter?” Elaine stood in front of the cabinet. “Now leave!” She turned the faucet on right in front of him.

Derek looked at the running faucet and shut it off.

Suddenly all of the cabinets started opening and slamming closed at the same time as the kitchen lights flashed on and off.

“Woot! Woot! Kitchen rave, squatter!” Elaine flicked the light switch on and off with one hand as she gestured to the cabinets.

Derek turned and ran out of the room.

“Gets them every time…” Elaine said proudly as she followed Derek out of the kitchen.

Derek sprinted up the stairs. He was about to grab his duffel and get the hell out of this house, but he saw Toby prowling around his duffel bag on the bed and remembered he had a responsibility. Instead, he continued down the hall to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face, breathed deeply, and counted to ten.

Coming out of the bathroom, Derek was feeling a little calmer. He noticed Toby padding tentatively out of the guest room into the hallway. “Hey buddy,” Derek said gently to the cat.

“Mrrrow,” Toby meowed at Derek.

Derek smiled.

Toby turned away from Derek toward the stairs where Elaine was just coming up onto the landing.

“Mrrrow,” Toby meowed at Elaine.

Derek stopped smiling.

Elaine crouched down and Toby moved towards her, already purring before she had even scratched between his ears.

Derek stared at the cat purring and moving around… something. He saw the fur between Toby’s ears move as if scratched. Derek swallowed hard.

Elaine looked up from the cat and saw Derek staring directly at her – not through her, at her.

“You can’t see me… right?” she said aloud.

Derek slowly reached in his pocket and drew out his iPhone.

“Oh, you’re not going to try the whole, ‘take a picture of the ghost.’ Because you know that never really works…”

Derek took his eyes off the space where… whatever was petting Toby must be and opened his message app. “Sam… Sam… Sam…” he found his friend’s message thread and started typing, speaking aloud, “Dude, is your place frickin’ haunted? Because you probably should have mentioned that in the PowerPoint somewhere between cleaning Toby’s litterbox and don’t water the succulents…”

“Oh, you know Sam?” Elaine said, standing up, Toby rubbing against her ankles. “Maybe you’re not a squatter…”

“…Because a ghost kinda changes things…” He read back over his message before sending.

Elaine’s shoulders slumped.

She focused and then said, “Don’t send the message.”

Derek jumped. “Holy crap!” He stumbled backwards as he stared at the transparent woman in front of him. “You… you’re…. you…”

“Yes, I’m a ghost. Get over it.”

“A… ghost… Okay,” he said, backed up against the door to the linen closet. “Wh-why shouldn’t I send the message?”

Elaine sighed. “Because Marlene would kill me.”

Derek raised his eyebrow. “Marlene would kill…”

Elaine shook her head. “Leave it alone.”

“Wait, who’s Marlene?”

“She’s the ghost here,” Elaine said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh,” Derek said. “And you’re…”

“Ghost-sitting. What are you doing here?”

“Housesitting.”

“Oh!” Elaine brightened. “That makes way more sense than trying to steal the copper…”

“Wait, you thought…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Elaine waved her hand. “So, we’re both here to take care of the place.”

“Yeah… it seems that way.” Derek took a step away from the linen closet door. “And, well, Toby,” he gestured to the cat still threading around Elaine’s ankles.

She looked down at the orange cat and smiled brightly. “And Toby…”

Her smile made Derek smile as he regarded her.

She looked up at him and their gazes met for a long second. “Wait,” she broke the silence, pointing to the guest room. “Were you reading watering instructions from a PowerPoint?”

“Oh my God, yes!” He pulled out his phone and strode towards her holding the phone in front of him. “You have to see this – there’s three pictures of Toby’s food bowl! Too much food.” He scrolled to the next slide, “Not enough food,” And to the next slide, “Just enough food! And the big green check mark next to it!”

Elaine laughed as she stood right next to Derek looking at the screen.

Derek realized she was right next to him. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

The front door opened and Sam backed into the foyer, dragging his roller bag through the door. “Hey Derek,” he called. “Sorry it took so long…”

From the kitchen, Marlene came in. “Hey Elaine, sorry I’m late, I…”

Sam and Marlene stared into the family room where Derek sat next to Elaine on the couch, a happy, purring Toby sitting between them.

Toby opened one eye.

“Mrrrow.”

I’ve never been this picky about car colors. But after experiencing dual-zone climate controls, I’m never, ever going back. That, right there, can save a marriage. I’m just saying…

“Hey, Theo! Good to see you,” the salesman greeted me as I crossed the parking lot full of gleaming, unsold Hondas.

“John,” I shook his hand. “Thanks for calling – I know we’ve been looking for a while. Sorry I’m so picky.”

“Eh, no worries. I’m just glad we found something.”

“I’m anxious to see it!”

“No worries. Hang out here for a sec – I’ll run in and grab the key.”

A few minutes later John was back, key fob in hand, and led me through the endless rows of cars. “This thing just came in – seriously, hours ago. When I saw the color listed, I called you immediately and threatened bodily harm to the other sales guys if they beat me to it,” he laughed.

There it was. Immediately I could see it checked all the boxes: 2023 Honda CR-V, check; Sport Touring Hybrid, check; and then the bit that I wouldn’t compromise on: Lunar Silver Metallic.

“Yes,” I said reflexively.

John laughed, “That’s not how it’s supposed to work – you’re supposed to say you don’t know, and I’ll say it’s everything you said you wanted, and then you’ll say you’ll have to think about it, and I’ll tell you – accurately, by the way – that I have three other sales guys waiting on this car because you know how long this gen CR-Vs sit on lots…”

I chuckled, “I know, I know… but the color. It’s…”

“Lunar Silver Metallic, yes,” he finished. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can distinguish between Lunar Silver Metallic and its replacement–”

“Don’t even say it…” I interrupted.

“Solar Silver Metallic.”

“Ugh, you said it!” I fake retched.

“Bro, we all OCD over our own things. For you it’s hues of silver.” He held up his hands in surrender, “I’m not questioning why this silver over the Color That Won’t Be Spoken. But since we’re here, do you want to take it for a drive? At least look at the interior?”

It was exactly what I had hoped for – immaculately clean, ludicrously low miles, and I already knew it had all the bells and whistles.

“It’s kind of a sad story,” John said as we drove away from the lot on the test drive.

“Yeah?”

“The previous owner traded it in for an Odyssey minivan for her family. She inherited this from her dad. He bought it even though he didn’t have a license anymore.”

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, heart issues,” he tapped his chest. “His daughter said he told her that if he was going to be chauffeured around at least it was going to be in style. She said he adored the seat warmer and dual zone climate control because he liked it warm. And he, like you, loved this color.”

I turned back towards the dealership. “Well,” I started, then cleared my throat and said in a formal voice speaking to the car at large, “I promise to take care of it, and if you ever want a ride, you’re welcome.” John and I both laughed as I pulled back into the driveway of the dealership and parked in front of the showroom.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur of credit checks, paperwork, and extended warranty offers. It seemed like forever before the dealership manager handed me the keyfob and paperwork and wished me well.

I was halfway home when the fasten passenger seatbelt warning light and accompanying chime started going off.

I had my laptop bag on the seat, but I didn’t think it would be heavy enough to trigger the seat sensor. At the next stop light I moved the bag to the footwell, but the persistent warning chime continued to sound. I sighed, knowing I’d have to go back to the dealership to get it looked at. Oh well, I thought, you roll the dice on a used car… if this was the worst I had to deal with…

And then the alarm stopped.

The next day I’d been on the freeway for maybe ten minutes when the fasten passenger seatbelt warning light and accompanying chime started up again. I’d deliberately left my laptop bag in the backseat, so I growled in frustration. After a long day, that alarm bore into my brain like needles on a chalkboard.

I took the first exit and pulled over. Reaching across the passenger seat, I grabbed the seatbelt, stretched the belt across the empty passenger seat and clicked it into the seatbelt buckle. Mercifully, the alarm chime stopped and I let out a deep sigh before checking my mirrors and pulling back onto the road.

I was close enough to home that I decided to just take the surface streets. A few minutes later, something caught my eye and I noticed the seat belt draw tighter across the empty seat. I figured it was probably just the auto-tensioner, but then the illuminated PASSENGER AIRBAG OFF indicator went dark.

The seatbelt alarm could just have been some fault – definitely worth getting looked at. But that combined with the airbag indicator meant the car noticed something sitting next to me in the passenger seat. The empty seat.

Then I saw the passenger seat warmer indicator climb to maximum. And the passenger side temperature control incremented up to 85 degrees.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Finally, I spoke aloud, “Well, sir, I did say you were welcome to ride any time…” I smiled. “And you have impeccable choice in car colors.”

Credit to Akilah for the kernel of this story idea tonight. I’ll take inspiration from anywhere, but she’s been such a great fount of ideas for all these ten years!

I tried to avoid doing any paranormal investigations by myself – it just isn’t safe. Leaving aside the whole ghost part, there’s the purely practical problem that you’re often in a space that’s falling apart or difficult to access. Another reason to go with a group is to split the sometimes-heavy amount of gear we carry. Finally, it’s always helpful to have someone manning the monitors with headphones, listening to anything the other people who are just experiencing the phenomena might miss.

But in the run-up to heading out tonight, one by one my group dropped out. Alex had the flu. Mary had to watch her niece at the last minute. And Elliot had to work overtime installing emergency updates at the tech company he worked at. After I got Elliot’s message I just about threw in the towel myself, but I knew I was going out of town next week, and then there’s the ever-present rumors that they’re going to bulldoze the old Bellweather mansion. Already, they’d added chain-link fencing around the perimeter of the property a few months ago – fortunately, Lucy, a sometimes member of our merry band of ghost hunters had found us a gap in the fence to get in and out. But would they find and block that too?

No, I was going even if it was just by myself.

On the approach, I spotted a glint off one of the windows in the south turret of the mansion and quickly took a picture. In the viewfinder I was ecstatic to see a glowing orb in the upper window. “Looks like the Bellweather Woman is in the tower tonight,” I smiled to myself. Most of the activity we’d recorded over our many visits to the Bellweather Mansion came from the central hallways and the bedrooms. Other than getting some very unusual EVPs in the south turret, this picture was the first image of activity.

Once inside the mansion, I hurriedly set up my usual battery of devices in locations that had worked out well for us before – the motion-capture camera in the master bedroom; the thermal sensors throughout the banquet hall; audio recorders in the kitchen and maids’ quarters. Once everything was up and running I made my way to the south turret.

Another reason we generally didn’t spend much time in the south turret was because the stairs were in terrible shape. Alex had put his foot right through a rotten board ten steps up the circular staircase and we retreated pretty quickly, leaving remote cameras that rarely picked anything up.

I stared at the hole in the stair that Alex had broken through and wondered whether doing this alone – or at all, for that matter – was a really bad idea. I heard a door shut at the top of the turret and I shook off the nerves, doing my best to keep my steps light and try to keep near the wall where I hoped the wood would be the least rotten.

When the stairs reached the landing at the top of the turret I caught movement immediately. Just by the window was a full-bodied apparition! I raised the battered full-spectrum Canon Rebel and checked the display. I fired the shutter as I moved towards the railing of the stairs, to get the apparition better in frame. I couldn’t believe how spectacular the shot was when I heard a crack.

I hadn’t realized I’d been putting weight on the railing, so it took a moment for me to realize it had broken and that I was falling down the central shaft of the turret. I don’t know how many steps or what the elevation is of the south turret, but I’ll say that the fall seemed to go on and on while I flailed and the floor raced up to meet me.

I’m grateful I don’t remember the actual impact, just darkness.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing at the bottom of the turret stairs – not laying, standing. That in itself was confusing because I remember falling, but what really caught my attention was my body six feet away, legs and arms at odd, painful angles. I was grateful my body was facing away from, well, from me.

“Well,” a female voice spoke behind me. “That was stupid.”

I turned around to see a middle-aged woman walking casually down the stairs. I immediately realized it was her! It was the Bellweather Woman!

“You’re…” I started.

“Please don’t…” she said as she stepped past me.

“You’re…”

“Yes.”

“The Bellweather Woman!”

“My name is Mary,” she said over her shoulder as she moved towards my body.

“You were the first ghost I captured on film…”

“I thought you looked familiar…”

“And the gauzy apparition in American Hauntings when they came here… that was…”

“Yes.” She knelt down by my body. At first I thought she was inspecting my… corpse. But, no, she was looking at my poor shattered Canon Rebel. She gestured to the cracked viewscreen and it flickered to life. “Oh,” she said with a pout. “You got my bad side.”

Mary started walking through the hallway towards the main hall.

“Wait,” I called, hurrying after her. I stepped around my body awkwardly, wondering if I could just leave my body here. “Do you know how famous you are?”

“Unfortunately,” she said nonchalantly.

“But… you, this place is legendary among ghost hunters!”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Your EVPs are some of the best quality anywhere!” I said breathlessly – well, I guess everything I said now was technically breathlessly.

Mary stopped, cleared her throat and affected a high falsetto, “It’s… so… cold…”

“Yes!” I got chills. “That’s it, exactly!”

“Thank you, thank you. Some of my finer work.”

At that moment I realized it wasn’t actually cold… or warm… I just… was. “But… it’s not cold…”

“It’s not, no. But that plays so well!” she smiled broadly before starting towards the main staircase.

“People think you were murdered here.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “I died of pneumonia in 1941.”

“But the story about your husband…”

“Never married.”

“The bloodstain in the east bedroom?”

“Red wine.”

I stared at her.

“You’re ruining this for me.”

“Imagine how I feel,” she said as we came up on the landing.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to rest for a bit,” she said. “Manifesting for you took a lot of energy. I’m done for the night.”

That’s when I heard voices coming from downstairs. I moved to the railing and saw flashlights sweep through the great hall.

“Friends of yours?”

I shook my head. The lead investigator looked familiar, but they weren’t folks I’d worked with. I started towards the stairs but stopped and turned to Mary, “Can they see me?”

“Sometimes.”

“Can they hear me?” I said in an involuntary whisper.

“Sometimes,” she said without matching my whisper.

“Can they photograph me?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “You’ll find out.”

Down below I heard one of the investigators say to one of his teammates, “Did you hear that upstairs? I’ll take the thermal camera…” Mary grinned at me, “Smile!”