I’ll be honest, I kind of thought this might be a 3-parter. It’s fun to have Maria and Tina hanging out together, so I’m not going to apologize! And here we have the sisters in the most haunted city in America…

“I’m just sayin’” Maria slurred just a little bit, took a sip of her third Sazerac, then continued, “We’ve been on the The Ghosts of New Orleans Tour, the Ghost and Vampire Walking Tour, and the Voodoo & Cemetery Tour and we’ve learned exactly two things — I mean, you know, aside from all the haunted shit and murders and stuff… Two things,” she held up two fingers to enumerate her points. “One, you are shit at making small talk with ghosts. And, two, my feet are killing me! You’re lucky you’re dead!”

“I’m surprised you can even still feel your feet with as you’ve drank!”

“Hey!” Maria said, “Just because you can’t drink–”

“Who are you talking to?” interrupted a man wearing an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt staring at the empty barstool next to Maria.

Maria opened her mouth to retort but was cut off by “She’s talking to her dead sister!” It was the bartender with the short blonde hair, numerous piercings and gorgeous sleeve tattoos on both her arms. The man was about to say something but the bartender cut him off, “give her some peace!” The Hawaiian shirt guy looked taken aback and walked away.

“Thank you!” Maria said to the bartender. “You get it!”

“I’ve got you, girl,” she said to Maria. “I’m Kati,” she said. “Let me know if you need another round.” As she stepped away to help another customer Tina made eye contact with her and Kati winked.

“Oh my god, Maria! She just winked at me! I think she can see me! She’s really cute!”

“Slow down there, girl,” Maria said. “She’s way too alive for you!”

Tina sighed. “Oh, to your point about me not making small talk, you know I’m naturally shy! And what am I supposed to say to a ghost that’s been dead since the eighteenth century? ‘Hey, how’s it going? Want to go for a buggy ride?’”

“I mean,” Maria said, “It’s a good first step… But you’re seeing ghosts around, right?”

“Holy crap, M, this town is packed to the gills with ghosts! It’s like 2-1 ghosts to the living in this bar alone!”

“I mean, this place has been here for like two hundred years… I mean, you wouldn’t go into Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop.”

“Oh, hell no!” Tina blanched. “There are so many ghosts in there I’d be all pressed up like that rave you didn’t tell mom and dad about when you were like 16.”

“Our secret!” Maria said. “Still, though, you haven’t spoken to any of them!”

“Seriously, sis, you have no idea about age difference!”

Maria rolled her eyes and downed the last of her drink.

“You good?” Kati asked pointing at Maria’s now-empty glass.

“Yeah,” she said and settled up her tab.

“You girls have a good night!” Kati said. “Don’t be strangers!” When Tina thought she might swoon because the cute bartender addressed both of them Kati said directly to Tina, “Keep her safe, okay?” Maria was already halfway out the bar but had to come back to get her sister who had gone all moon-eyed.

Out on the street Maria was grateful for the cool air that took the edge off her growing inebriation.

“Are you going to call a Lyft?” Tina asked.

“You know, I think I’ll walk,” she said. “Ooh, wanna get beignets?”

Tina nodded, smiling. She was glad her sister was having a good time. As they walked past Jackson square, Tina asked, “Are Martin and Christy doing okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Maria said. “When I called him earlier, he was loving his father-daughter time.”

Tina nodded at a tall ghost with striking blue eyes they passed.

“Good evening,” he said with a thick New Orleans accent as he tipped his felt hat.

“Good evening to you!” Tina stood blushing as the man smiled broadly and continued down St Peter.

“Did you say something?” Maria asked a few steps ahead.

Tina hurried to catch up, “Just saying hi to a cute ghost.”

“Atta girl, T! Way to go!” Maria said grinning. “Boy ghost or girl ghost?”

“Boy, err, man ghost. You have to ask?”

“Our bartender Kati seemed like she made your knees weak. I’m just saying!”

At Café Du Monde, Tina made small talk with the ghosts of two soldiers who said they died at the battle of New Orleans while Maria listened to Tina’s side of the conversation as she tried eat the pastries without covering herself in powdered sugar.

They were walking down Royal towards their Airbnb on Elysian Fields when Tina stopped suddenly in front of a three-story stone building.

“Weren’t we here earlier?” Maria asked.

“Yeah,” Tina said quietly. “It’s the LaLaurie Mansion.”

“Oh,” Maria said casually, then, as she remembered the terrible history that transpired there she said more gravely, “Oh!”

“Yeah.”

“Who’s here?”

“The slaves. They’re upstairs. I can hear them.” She let the tears that had welled up run down her cheeks.

“Delphine LaLaurie?”

“Uh huh,” she said with a touch of anger. “Part of me wants to go in there and smack the shit out of her,” she said balling her fists.

“But?”

“She’s… it’s hard to explain… she’s a ghost, but she’s… not. She’s more like… evil in a ghost suit. Super scary, even to me.” She looked up at the scared faces staring out of the third story windows and shuddered.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” a creole woman in a nineteenth century dress said from behind her.

“I’ve…. I’ve never experienced anything like it,” Tina said.

“Well,” she smiled sadly, “fortunately there’s not a lot of places where things this terrible took place. The way Delphine LaLaurie tortured those poor people…” She shook her head.

“I’m Tina,” Tina said, admiring the woman.

“Pleased to meet you, Tina. I’m Edmée.”

“Edmée,” Tina said, rolling the name around her mouth. “That’s really beautiful!”

“Thank you,” Edmée smiled at her. Tina really liked her smile.

“Oh,” Maria said. “Do I need to let you and this Edmée have a little alone time?”

“Don’t mind my sister,” Tina said to Edmée.

“It’s sweet you two have each other.”

Maria didn’t think she’d ever seen her sister smile as broadly as she was right now at whoever this Edmée was. It warmed her heart. “I’m going to head back to the house,” she said. “Take your time.”

“Thanks, Maria,” Tina said without turning.

“Would you like to walk by the river?” Edmée asked.

“I really would…” Tina said and without thinking took Edmée’s hand and the two ghosts started for the Mississippi.

To be continued…

Time got away from me tonight. And while I’m excited to bring back some characters from years past, I also want to make sure I don’t rush their story. So, this is a little introduction to their trip across the country!

“Do we have anyone who has any psychic ability with the group tonight?” Cody, the tour guide, asked enthusiastically.

A woman dressed in head to toe black with a wide brimmed black hat complete with black veil shyly raised her black-gloved hand.

“That’s fantastic!” Cody said and you could tell he meant it. “What is your name, ma’am?”

“Dawn,” she said softly from under her veil.

“Alright, Dawn,” Cody nodded enthusiastically. “Well, if we encounter any spirits on this tour please don’t hesitate to point them out to the rest of the group!”

“Fat chance,” Tina said out of the side of her mouth to Maria. “We’ve been here, what, twenty minutes and the voodoo queen over there hasn’t so much as raised an eyebrow at me!” She waved in the woman in black’s direction. “Hey! Anne Rice! Over here!”

Maria fought the urge to laugh and she covered it by leaning in to the stroller as if she were attending to baby Christy.

“Before we get started,” Cody turned in their direction, “I just want to make sure your baby is going to be okay on this tour. I mean, we’re going to be visiting some haunted Hollywood sights!” Cody really worked the “haunted Hollywood sights” bit.

“Oh, her?” Maria asked. “Yeah, she’s… yeah, she’s seen more than her fair share of ghosts already.”

“World’s best dead babysitter!” Tina crowed loudly. “Right here, people!”

Christy let out an adorable baby giggle at Tina’s antics.

“Great, then, let’s get started. Let’s go this way,” Cody started the tour down the sidewalk.

“Why are we here again?” Tina asked as they walked.

“To see if there are any ghosts out here,” Maria said simply. Too simply.

Tina stared at her sister suspiciously. “No…. no, that’s not it,” she said as they walked. “What’s your real motive here, sis? I mean, Martin was way too enthusiastic for us to go on this ghost tour. And now you just want to see if you can find ghosts? No, I don’t buy it.”

Maria sighed and stopped with the stroller until the crowd had moved sufficiently down the block before she said quietly, “Fine. Martin and I thought maybe if we went on this ghost tour… I don’t know… maybe you might… you know…”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Maybe you might meet someone yourself.”

Tina gaped at her sister. When she stood long enough that Maria started to squirm a little, Tina burst out in laughter. “Dios mio, sis! That’s hilarious! Meet another ghost on a ghost tour! Even in death you can’t help trying to set me up!!”

“Anyone seen my glasses?” Ellen asked the bar in general. It was late afternoon and mostly regulars sat around the bar. Some just shook their heads while a few mumbled some version of “No” into their drinks. “Sara?” she asked the tall willowy dark-haired bartender.

Sara looked up from the pint glass she was drying and said, “nope.”

“Jesus Christ,” Ellen sighed. “I took them off for one second…”

“Ellen,” Jake, one of the regulars said, “Those aren’t them are they?” He asked pointing at the hanging lights over the bar.

“Jake, I said I was just wearing them. Why would they—”

“He’s right,” Sara said nodding up at the light fixture where a pair of glasses hung over the fixture that held the florescent tubes.

Ellen squinted and walked towards the light and said, “What the…?” At just over five feet, Ellen had no chance of being able to reach the light fixture. “Sara? Can you get those?”

“Umm…” Sara stood on her tip toes and managed to pluck them off the light fixture. “Here you go, boss.”

Ellen stared at the glasses like they were a scared cat about to bolt. “How in the hell…”

“It’s because the place is haunted,” Steven, another regular said.

There was a general hum of consensus from the others around the bar.

Ellen scowled. “I don’t want to agree with you,” she started, “But a lot of weird things have been happening around here lately.”

“Why do you think I won’t close alone anymore?” Sara said.

“How long have you noticed weird things?” Everett asked from the end of the bar.

Ellen sucked in a deep breath and thought about the question before letting it out slowly. “I don’t know… about a year?”

Jake nodded, tapping his empty pint glass for emphasis. “Look, I don’t want to say anything bad about the guy, but I think it was around the time Dale started.”

“Another?” Sara asked and Jake nodded.

“You’re saying this is because of Dale?” Ellen asked incredulously. “He’s a great bartender!”

“No arguments here,” Jake said taking the full pint from Sara. “He was great when he worked at the Blue Palm Taproom.” He said.

“Oh,” Everett said, his eyes widening. “That place was haunted too!”

Mimi nodded in agreement across the bar, “Yeah, I was there when a pint flew off the bar and hit some guy in the head. Moved completely by itself. Like five people saw it!”

“Okay,” Ellen said, “So maybe he happened to work at the Blue and it happened to be haunted. That’s not Dale’s fault…”

“Umm… I think you’re forgetting he works weekends at the Tilted Swan Roadhouse,” Brett chimed in from one of the booths.

“Oh, shit,” Taylor joined the conversation, “Yeah, that places is haunted AF. There’s a lady in white that walks between the bathrooms and the storeroom. I saw her a few months ago right before closing.”

“How long has Dale been working at the Tilted Swan?” Steven asked.

“Since Dale started working there!” Jake said accusingly.

“Bro,” Alan said from a cloud of vape pen at the end of the bar, “Why are you hating on Jake, man? I mean, yeah, maybe the Swan has been haunted since he’s been there, but, like it’s not his fault, right?”

“I’m just saying,” Jake replied, “Blue Palm, haunted; Tilted Goose, haunted; now the Crazy Lady Saloon, haunted. Dale’s the common factor.”

“Wait,” Mimi spoke up, “Didn’t Dale used to work at the Bittersweet Cat Bar and Grill?”

“You mean the Leaning Squirrel Bar?” Sara asked.

“Yes, honey,” Mimi agreed, “It’s the Leaning Squirrel now, but it used to be the Bittersweet Cat before… oh shit.”

“Before the mysterious fire gutted it?” Dave said coming back to his beer from the restroom.

“What was mysterious about it?” Sara asked.

“It was an electrical fire,” Dave said.

“What’s mysterious about an electrical fire?”

“It was during the flood of 2019 – the town didn’t have any power at all.”

“Oh.”

“Is the Leaning Squirrel haunted?” Ellen asked the bar in general. A general mumbling of “no”. She scowled again.

“Blue Palm, Tilted Goose, Bittersweet Cat, now the Crazy Lady, all haunted, all have Dale as a bartender. But not the Leaning Squirrel where he’s pointedly not working,” Jake summarized.

“I heard,” Brett started, “that Dale was housemates with the River Strangler back in the day. Maybe it’s the Strangler’s victims haunting Dale as some sort of accomplice?”

“That’s bullshit,” Mimi said. “I knew George Owens – the Strangler. That dude was fucked up. Lived alone way up the canyon. Dale never shared a place with him.

“Well, that’s what I heard…” Brett said and took a drink of his rum and coke.

“Didn’t Dale live in the old mortuary?” Dave asked. “Because, you know… mortuary?”

“Still does,” Mimi said. “But Edgar said he’s the best tenant he’s had in that place. Said there pointedly hasn’t been any reported ghosts in the building since Dale’s lived there.”

“So, the ghosts just haunt where he works? Not where he lives?” Jake asked.

A quiet descended over the place for a few moments. Without warning an empty pint glass in front of Taylor slid quickly down the bar with velocity enough to send it a few feet from the edge of the bar where it shattered loudly.

“Fuck!” Ellen groaned. “Thanks, ghost!” She moved to the storage closet for a broom.

“I heard it was someone who died at the Bittersweet Hedgehog Roadhouse when Dale was working there,” Roger spoke for the first time.

“When did Dale work at the Hedgehog?” Jake asked.

Roger blew out a breath, “Long time ago… ten? Fifteen years ago?”

“No,” Dave said, “That’s when he was working at the cemetery digging graves. He wasn’t even tending bar then. The Hedgehog was long gone by the time Dale started bartending.”

“Where’s the Bittersweet Hedgehog?” Sara asked.

“It’s the Singing Lion now,” Mimi clarified.

“Oh,” Sara mouthed in recognition.

The front door opened with a creak and all eyes turned towards the bright doorway. A man in a black shirt and black pants with long black hair stepped in from outside.

“Hey Dale,” Mimi said by way of greeting. “We were just talking about you.”

“Oh,” Dale said in a slow deep voice.

“Jake here says every bar you work in is haunted.”

Dale swiveled his penetrating gaze to where Jake sat. The seated man withered under the stare. “Is that so, Jake?” Dale asked.

“I mean…” Jake stammered, “It just, you know, kinda seems like a coincidence…”

“Hmm,” Dale regarded Jake. “That’s quite an accusation,” he said. “Particularly coming from a ghost.”

“Wait, what?” Jake asked surprised. “You’re saying I’m a ghost?” Everyone was staring at Jake now. “What kind of crazy accusation is this?” he asked shakily, reaching for his beer but his hand closed right through the pint glass without disturbing it.

Sara gasped.

“What?” Jake stammered, starting to become slightly translucent. “I don’t know what he’s talking about!” his voice was fading out as well until everyone could see his lips move but no sound came out. And then, right before their eyes, Jake disappeared entirely.

No one in the bar moved.

Ellen walked in from the storeroom with a broom and dustpan in her hand. She looked around at the bar with no one moving or speaking. “What the hell did I miss?” she asked. “Hey Dale!”