I was at Home Depot last weekend looking for a skeleton – as one does – and they had cleared out all their Halloween stuff! ALL OF IT. Meanwhile, all the Christmas stuff blinked and flashed and Ho Ho Ho-ed at the other end of the store. It’s time the ghosts take back what’s rightfully theirs!
“You’re kidding, right?” Clarence said, exasperated.
“What? This is spooky!” Eddie raised his arms up in the sheet experimentally.
“Eddie, your sheet has red and green icicles on it.”
“I mean… yeah… sure… but it’s not my fault – It’s less than ten days until Halloween and the stores have already gotten rid of all our merch and brought in the Christmas stuff. And we haven’t even passed our big day!”
“I don’t know,” Walter said coming up on the pair. “I kind of like it.”
Clarence stared at Walter, covered in blinking, colored lights. “Walter, you can’t wear Christmas lights over your sheet. How did you even get those things to light up like that?”
“Is this one better?” Eddie asked.
Clarence turned and regarded Eddie. “You’ve got Santa Clauses on that sheet, Eddie… How is that better than snowflakes?”
“Santa Claus is kind of a big, scary, man – I’ve heard that’s scarier than a bear…”
“That’s not what they… Harold? What are you doing sitting around? We need to get haunting?”
“I was inspired – I saw the ‘Elf on a Shelf’ and decided I was going to be the ‘Ghoul on a Stool’”
“Frank?” Clarence asked. “What is with the wreaths?”
Frank held up green wreaths with holly in each hand and one on his head like a hat. “What? It’s festive.”
“Wrong festivity – that’s Christmas, not Halloween!”
“I beg to differ – what are wreaths except dead plants? And we’re dead… I mean, even mistletoe is a parasite. Gaining life off of the living? Kinda like us…? Eh? Eh?”
Clarence sighed. “You guys, no! These things are not our holiday! We’re ghosts! We’ve got to embrace all things October and Halloween! Think black and orange! Bats and spiders! Skeletons!”
“Alright,” Eddie said, now wearing a sheet emblazoned with reindeer, “We’ve got an idea…”
Eddie in his reindeer sheet, Walter in his blinking lights, and Frank all lined up side by side in front of Clarence. “Harold? Come on, get in line like we practiced.”
Harold remained on his stool and shook his head, “No, this concept doesn’t work if I’m mobile.”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Okay, ready everyone? One, two, three, four…”
They all started singing: “You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, because you’re going to die!”
“Okay,” Clarence nodded thoughtfully. “That’s kinda scary…”
They continued singing, “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good but that won’t keep the dead away!”
“You know, this might have a chance…”
Harold pointed from his stool. “See? Ghoul on a Stool.”
Clarence looked them over for a long moment.
“Fine. Let’s go ruin Christmas.”
